The last six months have been difficult. I started working full-time and overnights, which has cut back on my creativity. I hardly have time to do anything anymore. I even have trouble finding time to go to the doctor. I go to bed at nine in the morning and wake up around six in the evening. The only benefit I get from this is that I no longer have to deal with customers at work. I’ve been feeling very short-fused too, so this is probably a good thing. My health problems persist, and I’m now seeing three different doctors. I was told my aorta is dilated by thirty percent. My blood pressure is ridiculously high, so much that each doctor has to do a double-take on the numbers. The new medication I’m taking for my hypothyroidism seems to be helping. This has all been very scary. My uncle died of a heart attack last year, and I don’t want to follow in his footsteps.
On a brighter note, last month, I finally released my second ebook, Brandon Freels vs. The Reality Principle. It consists of twenty-three prose poems. I wrote most of them in New Orleans, but some are from when I first moved to New York. The cover image is a collage I made several years ago while visiting Kevin Sampsell’s collage night at the IPRC in Portland. I released this ebook as an ePub and with it re-released my previous book, Seven Nightmares, also as an ePub (instead of a PDF). Both can be downloaded on my website.
Also in writing news, this summer Rob Mcleenan asked me to write a non-fiction piece for his blog, My (Small Press) Writing Day. At first, I was hesitant, but I found the experience fulfilling. Not long after, I was asked by an editor from Reality Hands to answer some interview questions for their website. In the interview, I was able to revisit some of the same ideas I wrote about on Mcleenan’s blog. Unfortunately, it appears the editors of Reality Hands shut down the website before my interview was posted. It’s a shame too because I enjoyed the writing and design of that website. If you want to read the interview, I’ve uploaded a PDF of it here.
On a sadder note, my friend and mentor Steven Dalachinsky passed away in September. I first came into contact with Steve when I was in high school. I had been writing letters to Hal Sirowitz and Hal decided to introduce me to other New York City underground writers. Steve was one of them. Eventually, my friend Kris Hagner and I published a xeroxed broadside of one of Dalachinsky’s poems. We were teenagers but Steve welcomed the venture. He humored us. As I got older, in my twenties, Steve and I would lose touch on and off but he’d always come around and send me a collage-postcard. I’d visit my parents and get all these collages he’d mailed me.
I met Steve in person for the first time when I moved to New York in 2013 with Allison. He was feisty and fierce yet very personable. The first time we met, he spoke about taking me to The Stone to see some jazz. He patiently listened to my relationship woes and when I, unfortunately, had to leave four months later to escape Allison, he gave me a list of poets and artists to meet in San Francisco when I got there. When I returned to New York two years ago, Steve was reading everywhere. He was prolific. He was so ingrained in my understanding of New York, I’m not sure what New York will mean to me without him. I’d run into him and Yuko at readings, noise shows, avant-garde music shows, and art shows. He always knew what was happening. He was in so many worlds. I will miss him.
As for highlights, one for me was seeing Brad Abrahams’ documentary about the painter David Huggins, Love and Saucers. Huggins believes he lost his virginity to an alien named Crescent, and his paintings document his encounters with her and other aliens. Huggins’ paintings are nocturnal and intensely libidinal. Many of his works include nude alien women, sometimes mounting him, or at other times having him suckle their breasts. I also saw Gee Vaucher of Crass speak at the New York Art Book Fair and caught Francis Bacon’s monumental work Three Studies for a Crucifixion at the Guggenheim. Lastly, I was very proud to have one of my involuntary paintings included in the Involuntary México show in Mexico City. The show was held in the Hidalgo Station of the Mexico City subway, which I found curious considering my piece that was included was taken at the Ralph Station in Brooklyn. From one subway wall to another.
Books I’ve been reading:
Kenneth Patchen - The Journal of Albion Moonlight
Benjamin Péret - Mad Balls
Steven Jesse Bernstein - I Am Secretly An Important Man
Bessel van der Kolk - The Body Keeps The Score
Music I’ve been listening to on the subway:
Don Cherry - Brown Rice
Pharmakon - Devour
Joe Jackson - Steppin’ Out
Sonic Youth - The Destroyed Room
Some publishing notes:
Three prose poems (“Art,” “Blood,” and “Spirit”) appeared in Neutral Spaces Magazine no. 1.
My prose poem “Epic” appeared on the Paintbucket website.
Three prose poems (“Magic,” “Jump,” and “Bomb”) appeared on the Five:2:One website.
Three prose poems (“Rules,” “War,” and “Double”) appeared in Fearless no. 68.